Dear citizens of Lowestoft, UK
I am perplexed by the common knowledge in the town where I grew up, that to be educated is somehow offensive, "hoity toity" and rude. I guess you have to make yourselves feel better about the fact that we have 60% teen pregnancies and 70% school dropouts, but seriously?
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 15:22, 13 replies)

Hey, I feel you

( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 4 Mar 2010, 15:26, closed)

Agreed.
Lowestoft, actually make that all of Suffolk, should be turned into a giant habitat for ducks and otters. I like ducks and otters.
( Dervel OTBC, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 15:27, closed)

They're smarter than most of the current inhabitants, too
Could do wonders for the economy
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 15:32, closed)

Just not so many webbed feet

( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 15:52, closed)

Nicely done
Hypothetically if everyone from Suffolk was turned into a duck or an otter, would there be enough fish to feed them?

Would we need to draft in Jesus too?
( Dervel OTBC, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:17, closed)

And...
That Jesus would have to be a duck or an otter.

Only he'd require a new act as the walking on water trick would be redundant.

Have a click because I like jesus duck.
( Dervel OTBC, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:21, closed)

Are you joking?
That guy could feed them all with his 'loaves and fishes' act.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:26, closed)

Erm, yeah
That's why I suggested drafting Jesus in to be honest.

I'm currently refraining from making a comment about bad ducks living in hoisin.
( Dervel OTBC, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:34, closed)

Ah - One step ahead to be sure.
So you'd already thought of turning loaves into fishes?


(Funny how we all accept that irregular plural without thinking!)
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:37, closed)

Actually
I was going to feed the ducks the bread. It's therapeutic.

Duck Jesus would just make sure there was enough to go round.
( Dervel OTBC, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:43, closed)

Glad you're getting therapeutic treatment.
Duck Jesus could do that trick - un oeuf would be enough.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:56, closed)

Un oeuf
It's good, but it's not getting the cup. Or first billing.
( Dervel OTBC, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:59, closed)

Dear Sivvus,
Yeah - well Sivvus, it's like this -
Who wants to go to school anyway, right? I mean, that's got to be for real losers.
And so I got me girlfriend pregnant - hardly suprising because there's fuck all else to do round here. Not that we can afford to go out with the baby coming and all.
Anyway it's the only way she'll get a flat, not that we want to live here anyway because it's full of chavs.
And there's no work - course, I couldn't afford to take a job because I'd lose more off me benefits than I'd earn .
What's this about us being rude - well you can fuck off for a start.
Does that explain it?
Yours, Lowestoft.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 15:40, closed)