Let's go for brevity, and inclusion.
Dear world,

Just fuck right off.

Love,

Me.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:08, 14 replies)

Ooh, someone's getting menstrual...

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:12, closed)

Manstrual...
...I like the concept.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:18, closed)

That's a good point actually
I feel, in the name of equality, (or something like that) that I should be entitled to four or five days a month during which I can be stroppy, irritable and generally unapproachable on the grounds of hormonal imbalance.

(Just because I find I'm about as welcoming as a brick to the bollocks every so often and I could do with an excuse...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:21, closed)

"Boss, I can't come in today. I'm sick."
"What's up, Crow?"
"Man's problems."
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:43, closed)

"Man's problems?"
"Yes, well I'm a mite hungover so I slept through my alarm, and yet I've still got a Morning Glory that could have sunk the Bismarck. If I even try to get into work in time, I won't have time to deal with this and you do not want to be anywhere near me if I haven't dealt with it."
"I don't think this is really a serious reason for not coming into work..."
"Believe me, it is deathly serious. Now be a good chap and send your daughter over to my address pronto."
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:53, closed)

I really hope
that somewhere, somewhen, there exists employment legislation on how to deal with an aroused employee.

16.1 The employee is aroused.
16.1.1 The aroused employee is female. No action necessary; air freshener and upholstery cleaner as appropriate.
16.1.2 The aroused employee is male. Compassionate leave may be granted until such time as a diamond could no longer be cut on the engorged member, or the employee has managed to relieve a pressing bladder without micturating all over the washroom facilities.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 17:05, closed)

yay!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:20, closed)

You're lucky it won't be read
Lest you find yourself suddenly floating in the vast vacuum of space with great big popping-out eyes like in Total Recall.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:43, closed)

Actually, in terms of an interesting death...
...that would be pretty good. Painful for a split second, but friends and family could dine out on that anecdote for years.

"LoGG died."
"Blimey, how?"
"World fucked right off, leaving him floating in space. He exploded in the vacuum."
"Ah, well. He were a lovely boy, weren't he?"
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:46, closed)

Hmm.
I fear friends, family and places to dine out would also be somewhat thin on the ground. Bloody Starbucks would probably somehow survive the holocaust though.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 16:55, closed)

Depends on how it works
If the whole world fucks right off, then everyone in it might go with it - meaning, to them, the world wouldn't change at all apart from acquiring a me-shaped hole.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 17:00, closed)

That is true.
We could fill the you-shaped hole with knick-knacks and curios and store you in the attic. Or would it be more like in Predator where you leave behind a strange shimmering presence? And we shoot at you and because you bleed we know we can kill you - except really we can't because you're already dead and floating through space? Is that it? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SUGGEST?!!!
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 17:26, closed)

Yes.

(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 18:02, closed)

Cool!

(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 20:29, closed)