I actually submitted this to his site but it got passed on to some other jobsworth
Dear Prime Minister Rudd,

I am a very happy 32 year-old resident of Australia, who never fails to extol her virtues to all whose ear he is able to bend in the regard.

It therefore came as some distress to me and my 63 year-old mother (visiting Sydney to say goodbye to her dying sister) to be accosted by police sniffer dogs as we exited Town Hall Station.

I am a man who is loth to exaggerate, Minister Rudd, and so I feel a certain anticipation in using the word "accosted" but my mother is quite literally bruised (bruised, sir!) from the encounter with the good pup. So enthusiastic was he to alert his kind masters to the particulars of my personal scent that he broke the vessels under her skin brushing her aside to press his nose between my buttocks.

But I tell you, Mister Rudd (may I call you Kevin?) it was a great comfort to me to see that the young uniformed masters of the aforementioned pooch were really quite eager to see that I was unharmed. They kindly gave me a thorough physical examination and removed all the contents of my bag and pockets in the centre of the station for all to see, and left them on the ground in a very expressively arranged heap for me to pick up.

In my haste to leave these fine officers of the law to their clearly pressing duties, I hope that I did not soil the premises of the station with any forgotten examples of my randomly strewn belongings. If you find any souvenirs of the Blue Mountains obstructing pedestrian traffic, you should be able to track down my address through the Sydney Police, who were almost worryingly keen to know it. I believe they entered me into some kind of lottery, as I saw the word "POT" written next to my captured details.

My mother, being a denizen of a far inferior foreign country whose uncouth ways are comparatively lax in matters of statutory enforcement, was so thoroughly impressed by witnessing her son held spreadeagled against a grating by armed men in boots that I dare say she will not even sleep tonight. Adult men humiliated, middle-aged women wide awake. Every day we just get better, don't we?

I accept, Kevin, that I as a grown man cannot always be trusted to maintain my own moral standards in the face of all the temptations in the world, but can we not apply some more courtesy, dare I say a little gentlemanliness to the procedure of intructively violating my person? Some smiles, maybe a handshake? Certainly after the sort of intimacy the custodians of Sydney's peace enjoyed at my expense, I am entitled to at least a beer.

Yours faithfully,

Ladyfingers
(Ladyfingers is in your wardrobe,, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 4:54, 4 replies)

errrrrrrrrrrrr
are you male or female?

I only ask because you change your mind a couple of times and I get confused....
(whiskas loved by 8 out of 10 cats, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 7:12, closed)

"who never fails to extol her virtues"?
'Her' being Australia, I believe.
(Flap Burger hasn't really got a burger made of flaps, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 8:55, closed)

"Extol her virtues"
He means Australia's virtues you dingbat.
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Fri 5 Mar 2010, 8:55, closed)

Did you get done
or was it another one of the drug sniffer dogs that prefers the sent of arse crack?
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 8:56, closed)