To be fair
If you ask someone how they are, you can't really complain if they then proceed to tell you how they are.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 13:08, 3 replies)

True,
but who was it who said, "A bore is someone who when asked how they are, tells you"

That's not to say bottling it up is good or that people should/shouldn't listen or talk about their problems, just that when you ask someone "How are you" first thing in the morning, waiting for that first coffee to boil, you probably don't expect a half hour monologue...

I dunno, it's all a bit confusing, init? :-)

I recently started ignoring a girl I'd previously thought was going somewhere when I noticed that most of our conversations would start with a token "how are you" from her, "Good thanks, you?" and get back every little thing which had gone wrong since we last spoke, with me taking an interest, trying to cheer her up or make her laugh etc for hours, but then when I put the phone down or stopped texting realising that she hadn't asked a single thing about me. No interest. Nothing. If I changed tack and offered a few details or even whinges in response to the first "how are you", it would all be ignored in preference for the original pattern.

So I guess it's all about give and take, really.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 13:20, closed)

true...
but fuck it, the rest of my post is fair :)
( yes yes yes man oi mate, someone's writtten 'bum' on your neck, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 13:23, closed)

The correct answer to 'How are you?'
is alway a cheery 'Always good.' Even if you are feeling suicidal. The only exceptions to this rule are if it's you best mate or sister asking, or if you are hungover, in which case you are allowed to say 'feeling a bit rough.' This rule applies to hangovers only and not comedowns.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 14:28, closed)

It's a peculiarly British trait, the whole 'I'm fine'.
My Polish family always find it weird, why ask the question if you know what the answer is going to be?
They say that in Poland if you get asked 'how are you?', it is almost bad form to say you are fine because it sounds like you are gloating. Ask a Pole how they are and they will give you an honest answer. They find it strange why anyone wouldn't. Personally I buy in to such logic.

This only goes from what people of various nationalities have told me, so I'm generalising but have yet to be proven wrong. Feel free to do so :)
( TIAL Four capital letters, written in gold., Fri 5 Mar 2010, 14:33, closed)

My Polish driving instructor has clearly been here too long.
I ask how he is and a cheery, non-committal and very British "not bad" is his usual response.

Once he stretched to "alright" but never ventures beyond that.
( Moey, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 14:44, closed)

He probably knows what to say.
If I ask any of my Polish relatives how they are I can expect at least a 10 minute conversation.

Going back to the British topic, there's a brilliant book called "The Xenophobe's Guide to the English". I will give a small extract:

"If someone asks 'How are you?' when you meet, you must not speak about your bad back, high blood pressure, or imminent open heart surgery. The correct response is "Mustn't grumble", which will be approvingly interpreted as 'bloody awful, but I'm not going to bore you with the details'. If your listener at any point says "How interesting", you will know that he finds you as fascinating as watching paint dry. If he says "We must meet again soon", you will know he would rather go over Niagra Falls in a barrel than do so. Learn the lesson now: the English speak in code."
( TIAL Four capital letters, written in gold., Fri 5 Mar 2010, 15:02, closed)

I got chastised by a supermarket till monkey
for replying "not bad" when he asked me how I was. went off on one about how if I was "not bad" then I was surely "good"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 15:18, closed)

I find
"not bad" to be far more accurate... I'm no pessimist, but unless I'm not in work, the sun is shining and I'm surrounded by people I want to be surrounded by I'm far more likely to be "not bad" than I am to be "good".
( Moey, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 16:18, closed)