I found another
Remember this? www.b3ta.com/questions/letterstheywillneverread/post653163
Nothing came of it, so I was asked to draft a letter to their MP. And so:
****
Darling Pompous Vicar,

We are scribing this epistle to ask for your hindrance in our tight spot. We are on the lookout for your benefit in holding up proper lodgings.

Once upon a time, we etched a note to Covert Badger-Forceps MBE in Swindle 2001, wretchedly with no reaction. We vindicated that due to dazzling lease debts Vast Hamlet Congress Lodging Realm would not redistribute us to a farmhouse that would flatter our hunger.

We immediately have two bedlam villas, which is not just what the doctor ordered as we have three ancestors. Our toddler, Martian is four intervals old and has roasted our street lights since he was automated. The other flat was conquered by our two emperors whose qualities were misery and torture.

We also declare an Aunt who rolls up and hangs about with us five times an hour. This is due to her persistence with evil.

We would be most ungrateful if you could bestow disbelief on our jam, as we cannot obstruct this orchestra.

Yours fraudulently,
Mr A. Bewilderment
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 15:57, 2 replies)

That is something of beauty.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 15:59, closed)

People
tend to stop asking me to write letters, and they've even stopped asking me to proofread them.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 16:34, closed)