Dear un-named male friend,
We're pretty good friends. You have a lot of troubles and issues right now, and I am more than happy to be your sounding board and look after you while you're going through this. I understand that you're pouring out your heart and innermost thoughts to me, and although I don't consider us bestie mates or anything of the sort, I understand that you might need some reciprocation. So to demonstrate my equivalant trust in you, I told you a little secret about me. It was only a small secret concerning the identity of the person I had a mild crush on, nothing important but I thought it would make you feel trusted.

I was then rather surprised that the next time we were in a gathering of friends with facebook on in the corner on a computer that you purposefully logged into my account where on the facebook feed was a post from my crush. I didn't really expect you to say loudly 'ooh he's cute,' and then to look straight at me and say 'oops I better not say that while Amberl is here.' That was bad enough. The reason this crush is kept absolutely secret is that he is in a relationship and I would never ever make a move or let my feelings be known while that is the case. So for you to turn and say 'and he's in a relationship naughty you,' made me look a selfish twat. To make a further comment to the effect that his girlfriend is prettier than I am, just added fuel to the fire. Trust is earned, and small things can matter. Please do not be upset or offended that I will not tell you anything further about myself. I am happy to listen, but I am not happy to be taken for a fool. A man who cannot be trusted with small things, cannot be trusted with big things either.

Your friend

Amberl
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 18:03, 19 replies)

I'm all for being forgiving and supporting your mates
but I'd have kicked him in the nuts.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 18:09, closed)

happened today
since the other people were friends, I doubt anything major will be made of it. But it has bollocksed his chances of him ever being a close friend
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 18:11, closed)

Ouch.
If you need the help of a short angry woman, call me.
(ToysForBigBoys would spread her legs for Nick Clegg., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 18:33, closed)

thanks!
I think it was the 'she's prettier than you' comment that got to me the most. Who the bloody hell says that? (even though it is clearly and patently true.)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 18:50, closed)

Regarding the
'prettier than you' comment, only a total bastard would say something like that. Definitely not the kind of person you *ever* give the time of day to again, in my opinion. Leave him to his own devices in the future.
As we say in Ireland, I hope it keeps fine for him. If he's this unpleasant to a supportive friend, I doubt he'll have many of them in the future.

PS: I am also a short angry woman, I could kick him too if you'd like?
(Mediumsizedbear is trying to be littler., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 20:09, closed)

Thanks also
He deserves the bruising!

Where in Ireland do you reside? (My family live there now)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 20:23, closed)

I'm Irish by birth...
...but Cork by the grace of God (like) as we say down here. Cork people are known for a SEVERE superiority complex. Just thought you should know.
So anyway, I'm currently in Beal na mBlath in West Cork, just a stone's throw from the Michael Collins monument.
(Mediumsizedbear is trying to be littler., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 20:51, closed)

I went to school in Cork
for 6 months :) I've seen those T-shirts. And yes I know that place, we used to drive past
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 21:13, closed)

Good Lord
which school?
(Mediumsizedbear is trying to be littler., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 21:21, closed)

I can't remember the Irish name
but it was a Presentation convent.

Edit: Am pretty sure it was Coláiste na Toirbhirte
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 21:33, closed)

I see
I was in St. Aloysius in the city, a big Sisters of Mercy outfit. Lots of the convent schools are closed down now. Small world, eh?
(Mediumsizedbear is trying to be littler., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 21:45, closed)

Indeed
it was definitely the above, because I remember wandering around Bandon after school.

And Cork people may sometimes be arrogant, but at least you don't call yourself 'the Kingdom' like some people we could name
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 21:47, closed)

Oh ho!
You have named the ancient enemy! We call ourselves the 'Rebel County', which you probably already know.
Bandon, eh? That's where my Dad grew up during the war, I'm well familiar with the place.
(Mediumsizedbear is trying to be littler., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 21:54, closed)

there is genuine loathing between the two
it's a bit confusing. It's where my family live now.

My maternal grandmother was Cork (Skibareen area) and maternal grandfather was Kerry, and their relatives never accepted it. How weird is that?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 22:15, closed)

Erm...
...not that weird at all, actually. Ireland is a very small place and lest we forget the Civil War is still in living memory.
My great grandmother (a Catholic from West Cork) married a Prod, he had to convert, there was war in both families.
So marrying a Kerryman would be enough to cause comment alright.
I'm a Cork woman married to a Tipperary man, sigh, the comments never stop. :-)
(Mediumsizedbear is trying to be littler., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 22:22, closed)

I guess
But it wasn't as though they were divided by religion or by affiliation. Just a bit of land.

Cork married to Tipperary man?! Shocking!
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 22:51, closed)

I would have gone all WWE on him for saying that. Sounds like a total eejit.
(ToysForBigBoys would spread her legs for Nick Clegg., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 21:10, closed)

I have a friend like this.
She's a journo so I thought she'd be familiar with respecting other people's confidentiality and so on, but the way she instantly blabs anything you confide in her to her entire social circle makes her more of a 'tabloid gossip columnist' journo than the 'lit-crit, alternate lifestyle' journo she claims to be, and also means that we've never been particularly close friends and never will be.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 7 Mar 2010, 10:54, closed)

She sounds pretty shitty
not unlike this person. Who is now wondering why I'm avoiding their company
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 7 Mar 2010, 21:11, closed)