Dear lady who wrote twilight and the other books
Vampires do not fucking sparkle. Just thought you should know.
(yfky should be trying to get a job, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 21:48, 8 replies)

And talking of twee vampires,
davidguy.brinkster.net/goaste/annerice001.html

The response is priceless.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 22:20, closed)

Aahahahahahahahaaaaaa
This has made my week. How magnificent is the English language that just two words can say so much?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 23:06, closed)

"This is the skin of a killer..."
Or as I heard it "Miss miz ma skwin of a kiwwer." (imagine that nasal mocking voice you do when repeating something back to somebody).

Mitchell wakes up entirely covered in blood in Being Human Sn2. THAT'S the skin of a killer. As someone I know puts it:
"That Mitchell would get it until it fell off. Woof."
I can't vouch for her sanity, though but.

Hmm, seems my point's fallen off...
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 1:22, closed)

but er... vampires are fiction
if someone writes a story saying they're yellow and smell of balloons who's to say that's wrong?
( rob, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 9:50, closed)

Frankly
Being yellow and smelling of balloons is a lot less emasculating for a vampire than being fucking sparkly.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 10:20, closed)

Because they don't exist.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 10:20, closed)

Fictional? Don't exist? There we go then. That's why they don't sparkle. Although 'shouldn't' sparkle would be a better word choice.
I don't even wish vampires existed; they'd be a pain in the arse even if they weren't like Edward sodding Cullen or that ponce Lestat. Doesn't mean there aren't certain kinds of vampire that are more interesting to read about/watch than others.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 22:52, closed)

I
Have spent so long making this point, I thought I was a loan voice in the wilderness; THEY ARE MADE UP.
(kitescreech still here, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 19:53, closed)