You Didn't Kill Him
let the guilt go. A million million factors led to your brother being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Your decision was only one of them.

You're not responsible for what happened.

Let it go mate...
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 0:28, 1 reply)

i made a promise.
I failed to keep it. It hurts.
( TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 0:38, closed)

Legless is right I'm afraid.
It was an accident. Noone blames you, noone punishes you but yourself. It seems a shame that instead of celebrating his life and all that he brought you before he was sadly taken, you've spent the time since then tearing yourself apart. I reckon he'd be quite upset by that.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 7:21, closed)

You were 15
and despite you being responsible for so much, you were still a kid. And it wasn't your fault. You could have kept him home and he could have been hit by a bus the very next day. Sometimes when your number's up, it's up. *Even more hugs*
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 12:58, closed)

You cant..
...promise to keep someone alive, unless you lock them in a room forever, and even then they will have to go sometime.

Theres a Buddhist saying that goes: "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

Im pretty sure you could interchange guilt for anger, its helped me get through some shitty experiences, hope it might be able to help you too...
(mobi I completed the Internet on 'hard'. Twice., Wed 10 Mar 2010, 17:01, closed)