Dear Mary,
Remember that time my eldest sister split up with her boyfriend and asked to come home? Do you remember how you threatened my father with "Either she goes or I go"?

Do you remember how you demanded over the 'phone that I bloody well respect you because you deserved my respect because you were my stepmother?

Do you remember that time my teenage sisters and I went for a walk with our friends, and when we came back you just happened to be sunbathing nude in the garden, and when we saw you that sinister smile crept across your face as you watched us in our embarassment?

Do you remember "accidentally" coming out of the bedroom naked when my friends and I were playing in the hall?

Do you remember that time we had guests over for Sunday lunch, on that rainy day, and halfway through you and dad disappeared to have really noisy sex, leaving us kids to host?

Do you remember the time you blacked Dad's eyes and made him sleep in the shed for 5 days, in that old sleeping bag among the petrol and the rats?

Hahahahahahahha

Good luck with your new marriage.

A V
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 14:37, 4 replies)

I like that you put an apostrophe before phone.
How quaint.
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 14:52, closed)

quaint correct
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 14:57, closed)

Careful
You might catch the 'flu, or injure your fingers playing the 'cello.
( .Yeti., Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:33, closed)

Not to mention
the piano'
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:57, closed)