Finally!
A question i can offer a decent answer to...

I shall now render you a tail about the greatest bullsh1tter that ever lived! a lord of verbal faeces, I shall call him Dev, for that is his name. now dev leads a relatively normal life as a van delivery driver for Banardos, but in his head, he is a legend.... for example

1) Dev is an expert snowboarder, proficent in stunts, off-piste the lot. he has the full set of avalanche gear etc etc etc.... Unfortunately he has never skied outside of a snowdome, and when i saw him boarding there, he couldn't turn right.
2) Dev used to paint Ferrari's, despite his he now works for £7 an hour driving vans... and sent his beetle to be painted by someone else
3) when i first mat the amazing dev, he told me he worked for a Jaguar garage in garforth. little did he know i live in garforth and there is no jaguar garage there, nor has there ever been.
4) whilst watching a program about the spanish armarda, i said "loads of them sank around the scottish coast, there are loads of wrecks up there" to which he replied "i know, i go deep sea wreck diving" to which his girlfriend replied "no you haven't dev, why do you always do this"
5) claimed to have a classic motorbike, despite having no licence and failing to know how to ride a bike when challenged. (a dumb lie to tell seeing as i work for a motorbike dealer)
6) lives with his parents, but claims to "own" the house, he just lets them live there, amazingly they lived there before he was born.
7) a few of us we discussing how fast we had driven, most people had driven about 110-125mph ish with darren winning at 138mph (he does love his car), but not dev, he had driven a Dodge Viper at 182mph on the M62 motorway. where did he get it from? "a mate lent me it for the weekend."
8) my old man is quite into flying plane (little propeller jobbies) and had a flying magazine on the side with the "utterly butterly" wing walking team on the cover, dev, looking at it for 5 minutes or so suddenly pipes up "i've done that, i used to be on the team" despite him being nearly 20st, know knowing where they were based etc etc etc

thare are hundred more tales from this model shagging, racecar driving, buffoon but these are to ones that i can remember right now, its not so much the scale of the lies, its the quantity, every time he opens his mouth lie spew forth like lava from an erupting volcano.

Length? not as long as his i'm sure.
( evilamnesiac says fuck you Prince, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 14:30, Reply)