Gary
I went to high school with a guy named Gary. I wont post his last name, but he was a large, fat, pathological liar and on our high school (American) football team, which he tried out for every year, he was known as "Coke Machine" because he drank copious amounts of the stuff and his physical shape resembled a Coke machine.

So anyway, I think because he was so large, he felt he needed to fit in with the rest of the guys. Plus, it was a private Catholic school and everyone was constantly going on about how much they had.

Some of his whoppers:

His Grandfather owned the Chris Craft Company (a MAJOR US boat maker)and as a nipper he used to help his Grandpa design boats. Apparently his Grandfather lost the company in a card game.

Despite his large frame (about 280lbs at 5'10") he was constantly getting laid, especially in Hawaii. So you should NEVER go to Hawaii without at least a 1 dozen box of condoms.

His Uncle was a Green Beret over in Beruit and Gary was nice enough to train him in various martial arts, thereby increasing his leg strength considerably. Whilst playing soccer over there, he kicked the ball so hard it went "over the enemy lines" and had to be retrieved. One other Green Beret jumped "the fence" and grabbed the ball and was immediately shot by a SOVIET (?!) sniper. His Uncle jumped "the fence" and recovered the wounded soldier, carried him across the fence and then realized he forgot the ball. Just as he was INCHES from retrieving it, the same sniper (apparently they could 'see' him) put a round into the ball...in a communist ploy to deny the Capitalist soldiers from enjoying the game. The other soldiers in the unit, being so appreciative for Gary having taught ALL of them how to kick better with Tang Su Do and other martial arts, Signed the ball and sent it to him, from Soviet occupied Beruit.

(I SWEAR to GOD this is the story exactly as he told it!)

His OTHER Uncle was a PGA Golf Pro and taught Gary how to play the game. This story was told DAYS before the gym class was playing golf. He was, without a doubt, the single worst golfer in my class.

There are more, but I will post them later...TONS MORE (pun intended)

Citadel
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 17:29, Reply)