not actually that funny...
Around 2 years ago I used to hang out and smoke a lot of weed with this guy who I'll call X (for reasons which will become evident later) who told lies of a completely ridiculous nature.

For instance,

- he had got kicked out of Oxford Uni for taking too many drugs and not doing any work...however he claimed that he had left because Bill Gates needed him to build a new operating system and spy on his enemies, for which he would be paid 1.3 million pounds (keep in mind X was doing a Classics degree and was shit at computers)

- he was a close personal friend of Pete Doherty and that a week ago said skaghead had come to his house and dressed up like a 1940s gangster and did a dance in his garden

- that the government was watching him via bats that lived in his roof and were trying to monitor his musical listening habits.

Our drug consumption increased, and I began a torrid affair with his friend who introduced me to the wonders of crack and heroin (I'm clean now, yay!). X did not take this too well as I had often rejected his own romantic advances on account of him being a little creepy and a liar.

As X began to smoke more crack, his lies became more and more complex and confusing, like that his wardrobe was a 'quantum passage' into the public school where his dad (and heroin boy's dad) taught; and that he could hear boys hiding in the cupboard planning things. Sometimes he changed this story to that he was writing a novel with the premise that some public school boys were writing a novel about public school life, whilst their future selves were hiding in a supply cupboard writing another novel, but mainly he discussed this as truth.

Anyway, I finished my public school stint and was sent to live in Los Angeles (obviously a city free of the drug plague...?) with family after my parents discovered my blatant penchant for skag, and I didn't keep in contact with either boy.

Skip to 3 months later and me getting an alarming phone call from a friend back in London. She was hysterically crying and saying something about X in jail. I go online very confused and google his name. I discovered that X, high on crack, broke into his neighbors' house, and stabbed a girl to death. The girl was a mutual acquaintance of ours and had been a friend of his family for years.

It turns out that X was a paranoid schizophrenic (hence the government watching him and toffs living in his wardrobe), and his family and school had not noticed, and crack addiction and jealousy of his friend had pushed him over the edge.

I still get fucking freaked out when I think about this, for many reasons, including the horrible feeling that I could have done something to prevent it, and that when I left London X was regularly proclaiming his undying love for me, apparently the same thing as he had been doing to the girl a few weeks before he killed her...


Length? Life in Broadmoor.

(If anyone thinks that -I-, god forbid, might be a liar, or wants to read the full horrific slasher film details of what happened, simply google a very famous public school that rhymes with 'Barrow' and the word 'murder')
(little fawn, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 3:31, 10 replies)

Your parents are mad
You were addicted to skag and they sent you over here????? Hello!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 6:14, closed)

i know...
it does seem rather mad, but there are loads of good drug programs here (if you stay away from the super expensive rehabs that make their money on the premise that if they fail to fix the problem you'll be back again in 6 months...see Lindsey Lohan et al.)

Plus I didn't know anyone, can't drive (major disability as I'm sure you know there is NO public transport), had no idea how to get drugs in a strange city, and was not 21 so couldn't get into clubs or bars!
(little fawn, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 6:42, closed)

I'm glad it worked for you,
you got lucky, getting into a good program. A friend's daughter recently got out of jail because of meth related incidents and there's not a lot of rehab available to her. Fortunately, her dad's friends believe in her and she's got a good head on her shoulders - she's only 19.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 7:41, closed)

thanks!
you should tell your friends daughter to check out www.todayna.org

It's the website that lists all the socal narcotics anonymous meetings. I go to Steps to the Sea in Malibu occasionally, and I attended lots more when I first moved here. Some of it is bollocks (like the 'higher power' stuff), but they actually do help somewhat, especially if you go to ones in nicer areas (Santa Monica, Malibu, Silverlake) and avoid the ghetto ones which are depressing, full of plebs, and which people sell drugs at.

Plus if you go to the West Hollywood groups you get to see loads of washed out celebrities talking about the time they blew coke off of Paris Hilton's inner thigh.
(little fawn, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 8:09, closed)

Urghh
That's sick. I mean have you *seen* her thighs - and whats been running down them?

*shudder*

And I remember this murder quite well.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 8:48, closed)

yes..
perhaps they are also pathological liars...surely it would congeal very quickly.
(little fawn, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 9:25, closed)

oddly enough
my old law firm acted on this case.

not my team; i don't do criminal law. but v distressing. they also get a lot of child abuse cases; i don't know how anybody does that day in, day out.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 10:05, closed)

hmm
maybe you know why it was deemed necessary for two London Met coppers to fly out to Los Angeles to interview me despite my not being in the country at the time of the murder, whilst another of our acquaintances who was in the local pub at the time, but had then gone to uni in Cardiff was only interviewed by phone!

Me thinks there were some DIs dissatisfied with their yearly hols to Marbella...
(little fawn, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 10:15, closed)

Was this
that case in Harrow?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 10:48, closed)

unless Eton rhymes with Barrow then
maybe
(little fawn, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 11:24, closed)