I've fibbed, and I've been fibbed to...
Well we've all done it, have'nt we.

However, my most favourite was a corporate client. He rolled up one afternoon for a meeting the following day. Myself and another guy were detailed with keeping him entertained on expenses during the evening as a "lets butter him up and pretend we're competent enough to keep his business" exercise.

The business was worth about £30mpa to my then employer so Matt and I were under strict instructions to keep everything all nice-nice. We took him to the best Indian in Leeds (Akbars-not quite so best now but it was good in 1996) and tried ever so hard to be chums.

We quickly realised, though, that our new friend had a terminal case of the bullshitties. Everything that Matt and I mentioned he'd done before, but a bit better.

What he certainly was accomplished at was drinking and in trying to keep up with him we lost sight of the £30m and headed off on our own little amusing mission. I can't remember the details but a typical exchange would be:-

The Disappointed - "I love my new car it does 150mph and I drive around the centre of Leeds at that speed each night."

Corporate Client - "Well I own Ayrton Senna's formula one car. He left it to me in his will because I was his biggest fan. It's not registered but all the local police are my mates."

Matt - "I'm shagging that Sheryl Crowe, don't you know."

Corporate Client - "Well I used to share a house with The Nolans and we all made a porn film but you can't get it now because Limahl from Kajagoogoo bought every copy and burned them at Guy Fawkes. Which I went to."

We kept the business and it kept the company afloat for a little while longer. Corporate Client was later reported to have said that it was one of the best nights out he'd ever had although that may have been unadulterated shite too.

And, sad but true, I actually DO know Pete Waterman. If I was a pathological liar I'd pretend I did'nt...
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 2 Dec 2007, 20:46, 2 replies)

You'd get an "I like this"...
...if only you could figure out how to use apostrophes.
(turkeyphant, Mon 3 Dec 2007, 0:49, closed)

.
I clicked - I don't mind risking the death penalty for supporting a post with a couple of dubious apostrophe's'es's.

It is punishable by death isn't it Turkeyphant? I assume so, as that's pretty much all that keeps you from having made a twunt of yourself with your comment...
(misanthrope is so adjective he's verbing nouns!, Mon 3 Dec 2007, 9:02, closed)