Right, let’s get this over with.
I do a lot of work with people in Singapore, and as with many Asian countries, there are a few surnames that get used frequently. In particular we have loads of people in the office with the family name Ong – David, Andrew, Sunny, Daniel; all of them Ong.

Poor old Daniel Ong though: he was our security consultant, but he had an odd condition which resulted in him occasionally losing control of his tongue. He’d be fine, when suddenly it would loll out of his mouth uncontrollably. When this happened he had a special tool which he used to hold up his tongue until he regained control. This was all a bit embarrassing, so when it happened he took to wearing a big hat which drooped down and covered his face. It was one of those wide conical hats you see people in paddy fields wearing when they are picking rice. As you might imagine, this was referred to as his rice hat, or, by the less culturally-aware, his ‘lice hat’.

So when someone asked me the other day which person called Ong was the one to talk to about security I replied, ‘Daniel. You know, lice hat when tongue tool Ong.’
(Smale is stuffed, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 12:42, 5 replies)

That's
just irritating.
(username failed moderation, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 12:54, closed)

Please delete your account
and then kill yourself.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 15 Mar 2012, 13:00, closed)

Popular opinion suggests that I'm the nicest person on b3ta
So when I say that was fucking shit, you know it was fucking shit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 13:11, closed)

Hmmm.
A valiant effort, though missing the "th" of that is rather too significant to score this pun a generous mark.

I'm going to give it a 6.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 13:14, closed)

.
massive lacist
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 13:29, closed)