Missed deadline for last qotw + this week's similar enough for it to work = win!
Like many of you (it seems) I grew up in one of those shitty nondescript towns where everyone's a bit depressed. Nobody smiles, even the kids; grey buildings gradually falling apart; whatever Michael Fish says somehow you know it's going to piss with rain all day. The best thing to do is to get out any way you can... and if you don't, somehow you have to stop yourself going crazy. My way of doing this (but of course) was practical jokery.

Now compared with some of the sick fuckers on here (being more of a lurker I won't mention names) I like to think I have a healthy, robust sense of humour. In some places, though, anyone who likes a laugh is considered a bit weird. I like to think my pranks were always well intended, and the person affected would be able to look at themselves and say -Well, maybe I sort of deserved that! Some of them, if I may say so, verged on artistry and may be recounted in a separate post. Briefly, though, I always tried to send people up for their own shortcomings, like Mr Moneybags (name changed etc.) who somehow never paid for anything, or the stoner who never ever left his flat. And another bloke - bit of a pervy, and frankly needed a talking to... my solution was perhaps a little cruel but the young lady concerned was in stitches! (I've half a dozen of these for another post... too much length etc.)

Of course, there's always someone who doesn't get it, and in my town there were two of them - I'll call them William, the old one, and Dave. In fairness, the old git wasn't that bad, probably as depressed as everyone else, but Dave was just a self-righteous, angry cunt. Thought he was God's gift... so why the fuck did he move to our town? His wife was hot though. Anyway, first they started following me around, which is scary enough in itself, but what took the biscuit was when they broke into my flat. Bang out of order if you ask me.

Now, I always say that the times when you're about to lose your sense of humour are the times you need it most. Obviously this was one of those times. So I pranked Dave proper: I sent him his wife's head in a box and he shot me. Win!
(bagpuss606, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 12:52, 2 replies)

I've read this about seven times
and I still think I'm misSINg something?
(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 8:29, closed)

John Doe - Seven.
(Official Sarc, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 18:40, closed)