Not having the last laugh
Just a little victory, I suppose there is a subtle difference.
About 3 yrs ago a local shop started selling those mini motorbikes.
Suddenly it seemed they were everywhere.
I could go aww at watching some little nipper wobbling its way round the park on one, but some lanky 20 odd yr old with his knees pressed up by his ears, head down and tongue hanging out as he screeched down the pavement at maybe 15 miles an hour, beeping the horn and scattering pedestrians all over the place just made me think 'What a tosser'
In spite of repeated warnings by the local cop that riding one of these along the pavement was apparently illegal, there was one who kept on doing it.
I lost count of the number of times I'd had to sidestep sharpish to avoid him.
So one day I'm on my way home and in the distance I can see people up ahead doing the panicked side step, and then hear the horn beeping.
For reasons long forgotten i was in a bit of foul temper and in no mood for fuckwittery
As the pavement in front of me cleared and this mini bike riding fiend approached arrogantly tooting the horn expecting me to move, I just stopped dead, bang in the middle of the pavement.
The game of Chicken was on.
About 30 seconds before expected impact I wondered what was the worst that could happen by being hit by a mini bike travelling not that fast on a pavement.
Discovered its a slight scrape along the outside of my left leg as he finally swerved to avoid me then fell arse over elbow on contact, scraping the bike sideways along the pavement for a few feet scattering bits of plastic and various swear words along the way.
Turning round I said 'Oh oops' and carried on home.
i'd like to say i sauntered but I actually limped a bit, although with a big grin
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 2:54, 4 replies)

to actually have the last laugh
you should have feigned injury and had the police and ambulance attend. Cue seizure of bike and potential for ambulance-chaser based compo :-)
(bblgoose, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 8:44, closed)

yes, a missed opportunity there!

( fluffymitten NAN, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 11:35, closed)

Utter tossers, riding on the pavement
I've had one on a full sized bike start up and ride at me on a path through a small green.

He expected me to move onto the mud to avoid the collision. I just sidestepped at the last second and gave him a heft shove, sending him sprawling onto the mud, bike just missing his head.

Fortunately for him, he just swore and cursed as he picked his bike up and pushed it away...
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 12:13, closed)

"30 seconds before expected impact" ?
Fucking hell, was he pushing it, or did you see him half a mile away?
(Rsoles, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 22:44, closed)