Buggrit, millennium hand and shrimp.
The Kilted Ninja is the best person to ask about nutters on trains, (usually to Southend) but every stop on the Southend Vic-Liverpool Street line has a few basket cases...

Anyone who knows the area will tell you that really we're FAR too close to Runwell Hospital, a local mental institution. Every single person that works on the High St will be able to regale you with stories of day-release encounters. People walk into shops and ask the salesperson if they have shoelaces. Quite often they recieve the reply "no, this is a cafe/record shop/bank". The nutter doesn't mean for sale. He means in the shoes of the person he's addressing. If they do, he will ensure they are correctly fastened before going on his way. If not, he will look as though you had just pissed on his barbecue and walk out.

There is also a woman known as the Weather Lady, quite simply because she will wander up and down the High St all day shouting "WINDY TODAY!" or "GOING TO RAIN TOMORROW!" at the passers-by. Fortunately she's massively easy to spot, and aforementioned passers-by have been known to dive into shops they have no interest in just to avoid her.

The Actress is clearly eminently well-trained for the theatre, but sadly, being a faded prima-donna she elects to travel to every charity shop in town (and that's a good few) and loudly and lavishly dissect the contents of her donation sack, regardless of the winces of the other customers and the clear disinterest of the sales assistant. She may not, in fact, be a nutter, but she'll do.

There is a man in Chelmsford High St who walks in a large square all day, screaming at anyone (children, businessmen, mothers with prams) who gets in his way.

I make no apologies for length, as i find girth is a much fairer criteria.
(underachiever, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:33, Reply)