Still haven't decided if my frequent lapses are amusing, or signs of a serious mental disorder
Yesterday I was walking home from work. I was tired and bored and I think I must have just phased out or something, because I started to singing to myself. It was (for some bizarre reason) Army Dreamers by Kate Bush. I was singing really quite loudly and tunelessly, as one might in the shower or something, before I suddenly realised that I had long ago reached the middle of Aberdeen City centre and that people (late night shopping on a Thursday!) were actually crossing the street to avoid me. The embarrassment was excruciating.

Here's another - one of my friend's actually, but I was in the room so it totally counts.

It was during uni at some house party somewhere, and we were all pilled up to the eyeballs. My mate (we'll call him Dave, why not) is standing in middle of the room, chatting bollocks with some bloke and, because of the MDMA, getting along famously. Just at this point, the music stops (I guess the album had finished or somebody had fucked with the mp3 playlist or something) and everybody in the room witnesses this marvellous exchange:

Dave: I should put you in my phone - what's your number?
Some bloke: It's OK, I've already got yours, I'll ring your phone right now and you can just hit save... [he pulls out his mobile and dials]
Dave: Oh shit - a phone call from some random number! [he pulls out his own phone and answers it] Hello? Hello? I can't hear you, I'm at a party...
Everyone in the room: Ha ha ha ha
Dave: Guys, shhh! I'm on the phone! ... Hello? Hello!?

Took him several minutes to figure out what just happened.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Fri 22 Jul 2011, 15:30, Reply)