Alcohol induced madness
...but not the type you're thinking of. When at uni, normally before the start of a term, drinking heavily every night is mandatory in my house (or at least it was until I got a girlfriend, who for some reason often wants to indulge in the vulgar act of copulation). After a few days the strain starts to tell on us: spots, bags under the eyes, lethargy, startling lightness of the wallet, and so on. Cue 3 days off, rinse and repeat.

I get an additional side effect: it makes me loopy. I start forgetting things, my senses become dulled, I can't write properly, my mood is all over the place, and I start mistaking strangers for people I know in the street just because at a glance they look similar.

Last year, after a mammoth blow out to commemorate the start of the hard work period*, I was feeling particularly out of sorts. The hangover had cleared up some time the previous evening, and my stomach was finally sufficiently settled for me to acquiesce to its demands for food. It was time, I felt, for pie & chips with peas.

Fill saucepan with water, stick on ring set to a low heat to get it to the boil before time, put pie in oven alongside chips. Nip off for a quick jimmy riddle.

Come back 5 minutes later (got distracted by a moth) to discover the unmistakable smell of cooking gas.

I went over my actions in my head, and had absolutely no recollection of ever even attempting to light the rings. I just put everything in place and wandered off.

And the pie was still in its box. In the oven.

It was at this point that I phoned Dominos.

Length? About 2 1/2 days, just to make sure.

*don't take the piss; anyone who says students are a bunch of dossers is a miserable, jealous cunt.
(a gun that fires other, smaller guns full of jizz, Fri 22 Jul 2011, 22:45, 2 replies)

I feel your pain.
Being made to work towards your final goal like some kind of pleb is just so demeaning and Bolshevist.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 22 Jul 2011, 22:52, closed)

Actually you are the
definition of a 'dosser', or should I say 'tosser'!
(mparryuk52, Sat 23 Jul 2011, 2:01, closed)