jesus fights a mong.
spent a whole day banging it like a champ. pot, plant food, coke, mdma, etc. neither proud, nor ashamed, it is what it is.
00:00, we took a stroll back to the VIP campste with some friends whose band was playing there. the party continued apace. then i broke out what had been sold to me as mdma.. clearly wasn't. something VERY fucking hallucinogenic, sky breathing, tents opening and closing like fish mouths, everything was painted like a monet watercolour. being no stranger to the odd bit of haluucinating, i was ok with most of this.

03:00 monolithically fat dude turned up, obviously a downs but reasonably high functioning. insisted on trying to wrestle people (ever tried wrestling while surrounded by a shoal of tent-fish, in a monet painting, giggling your tits off, with a supersized mong? don't.) at this point, i was still reasonably ok, i wasn't getting the fear. things were getting somewhat kooky though.

04:00 jesus arrives.
long hair. crown of thorns. white robe. big beard. friendly demeanour. shared a joint with jesus. arguing with him about the best festival food. still reasonably ok at this point. he responds to every question with 'yes my child?' getting a bit weird.

05:00 BIG line of ketamine. probably a bad choice. retreated inside a tiny popup tent of unknown ownership due to rain. am now being referred to as 'tent'
getting a bit strange.

08:00am.
pouring rain. jesus is outside the tent wrestling with a giant mong. surrounded by shoal of tentfish on a backdrop of monet trees and clouds. executive decision is made that this is now entirely too fucked up to handle. walk back past endless security guards, get bag searched, bad noise. try futilely to consume burger, which undulates far too much to be appealing. is that a mouth?

09:45 finally collapse in tent. miss entirety of the sunday. feel like death.

now positive or negative, that right there is some once in a lifetime shit. how many people can say they watched jesus fight a spacker while off his tits on ketamine, in the rain?

the best part of this is that it actually happened. obviously the tents weren't breathing, and the guy wasn't really jesus. i've since found him on facebook, he's a nice lad called lance. i still see him as jesus though.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 12:50, 4 replies)

awesomeness!
this right here is why festivals are frickin heaven on earth. ignore the horrible things you have to face when going for a shit, ignore the weather, things like this never happen in clubs or at home.

at Glastonbury my mate was once asleep in the stone circle field at the top of the hill, we were close enough to him to make sure he was safe but far enough away that he could totally pass out despite our giggling. a man appeared wearing a Mickey Mouse glove on one hand, a sign around his neck reading 'free handshakes' so we convinced him to wake my mate up and shake his hand. the bewilderment on his little screwed up face was worth the hundred odd quid the tickets cost alone.
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 13:05, closed)

And why was Lance fighting a mong?
Or if not a mong, what was he fighting?
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Fri 17 Sep 2010, 13:29, closed)

it was playfighting/being lifted
this downs syndrome guy was just a bit.. over passionate and excitable, and had some deep seated need to prove his worth by lifting, armwrestling, or high fiving everything in sight. nice dude, bit of a buzz killington but we didn't want to tell him to do one, he obviously just wanted some company and some drugs.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 13:58, closed)

Man that made me laugh
I really must try shrooms one day.

gave you a click by the way
(Fluffy Face is blaming your picture for breaking my commode, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 23:01, closed)