To teach him a lesson!
One of my friends (call him Chuck) had a cousin visiting him (call him Scott). Scott showed up drunk, and stayed drunk just about the whole time. We got fed up with him and decided to teach him a lesson and scare him off of booze (though we were all pretty well crocked ourselves, or it wouldn't have seemed like such a good idea).

We took him out to the woods that night and started a campfire. After a few mintues, and him into his second or third beer of the sitting, we launched our plan.

"Well, Scott," Chuck began, "since I moved here I've changed a lot. I've come to understand the lies I've been told my whole life by my parents, by my teachers, and by the minsters. Jesus is a fraud. The only one true way is through Darkness. We have to watch our own backs, nobody can help us. That is why I have turned to Satan."

Scott laughed, but Chuck continued. "I'm serious. Satan understands that you have to fight to keep going in this life. Forget this pussy stuff about forgiveness. If you don't defend yourself, you will be crushed."

Scott started freaking out, and the rest of us saw that this was going too far, but Chuck kept going. We just sat there. Scott started begging and pleading, and finally took off into the woods at top speed, in the pitch dark, smacking full into a tree and vomitting all over himself.

A couple of my friends (not me, though) were self-described Satanists, but they were really just free-style anti-Christians. One is now hopelessly addicted to meth and the other is in jail forever (it's first degree murder if you reload the gun while filling your best friend full of bullets).

Guess we really taught Scott a lesson, huh?
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 23:14, Reply)