Messing with the Dark SideWe all like to tell stories about the *spooky* things that happen when people mess around with Ouija boards, hexes and spells.
A friend had wierd banging noises in his house for months and was deeply, deeply worried that it was the result of getting drunk and attempting to summon the devil.*
What's scared the crud out of you after you've played with the dark side?
* it turned out to be a tramp living in his attic (no, really). Also, -5 points for rubbish Star Wars jokes
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chthonic, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 11:58)
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Not me but a bloke i was in the army withwhen i first joined up I was posted to a complete shit hole in Germany, first day and suprise sup-fecking-rise Private Splodger, what's got horns and bleeds? don't know sir! Stag on son! cheers first weekend in a new town and I'm on guard. anyhoo weekend passes quitely enough until Sunday night, coming back to the to the gaurd house/jail at main gate after patrol and the R.O.S. (orderly sergent) has one of the other new boys by the neck and is screaming at him "if you're taking the piss I'll fuckin kill you!!" the other lad Private X is turning purple and tears are flooding from his eyes. The full screw with me Shouts FFS Sarge put him down! well the ROS suddenly realises what he's doing and even in the British army strangling a private with your bare hands is frowned on, a little. The corporal then tries to calm things down and asked what happened,. Turns out the sergent had asked private X to make tea, Private X then asked if he should make the prisoner a cup, to which the sergent asked what prisoner? (there are no prisoners at all unusual as that was in itself) to which unsuspecting private replies Gibbins he's in cell three i was talking to him earlier. At which point the sergent had exploded and grabbed X and I had walked in. the corporal with me went white. clueless me ask so what? it turns out years earlier the sergent who was then a private, was on duty when a bloke called gibbins hung himself in cell three. no way he was joking, he went on to become RSM and any soldier will tell you those fuckers are born with no sense of humour. private x and me had only been on camp 72hrs and from basic training i knew he didn't have the brains to make this shit up or keep a straight face if on a wind up, so how would he know? Sergent asks him to describe Gibbins which he did Sergent looks at corporal both say thats him, thats Gibbo. we made a deal never to mention it, but i'm a civilian now so fack 'em.
no appology for length/ girth you mum loved it and your dad only cried when i stopped.
by the way we checked, all cells empty, floors still spotless from where I had mopped them out that morning
(, Wed 26 Apr 2006, 17:04, Reply)
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