Haha
I work in regulated financial advice and know precisely why your story about your property portfolio is bullshit.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 2 May 2013, 17:52, 2 replies)

Go on then, spill the beans

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 May 2013, 18:09, closed)

nah, I'll just smugly enjoy it ta

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 2 May 2013, 18:22, closed)

RIGHT IVE GOT YOUR BACK HERE DOZER, YOURE JUST PRETENDING ALL ALONG
ITS OK ALBERT WILL NEVER SUSPECT A THING


WORD
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 May 2013, 18:31, closed)

I have your balls in my hand and I'm giving them a playful squeeze.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 2 May 2013, 18:33, closed)

I think the fact he couldn't even remember how many houses he was selling or for how much might have given even the financially naive a clue.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 May 2013, 18:23, closed)

I don't think he knows about how capacity for loss is an inherent part of a fact find and recommendation.
And that having multiple IO mortgages might possibly be something that a professional adviser might flag up as being a concern. That is of course if he used a broker, an adviser or dealt direct, or if he got these as BTL rather than residential. Or the point at which he did so, bearing in mind the stringent LTV limits on IO mortgages.

But what do I know?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 2 May 2013, 18:32, closed)

And he can't count to two.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 May 2013, 18:36, closed)

it's perfectly normal for lenders to offer IO mortgages to amateur property speculators.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 2 May 2013, 18:40, closed)

Who can't count to two.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 May 2013, 18:49, closed)

We're building a house in France at the moment.
So if you could just give me some advice on allowable expenses under the régime réel or micro-foncier regimes that would be smashing. I'll pay you in entirely valueless online prestige.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 May 2013, 18:51, closed)

soz, no idea

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 2 May 2013, 18:55, closed)

God.
I don't even know why I come here any more. The service is terrible and I don't even think they change the beds every day.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 May 2013, 18:57, closed)

soz
My family do have a gite which is a barn conversion. Want me to ask them? Failing that, Albert here has a marvellous property adviser, I suggest you gaz that nigga up.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 2 May 2013, 19:00, closed)

I was mostly asking so that I could super-subtly drop in the fact that I have a real live property portfolio that exists outside my head.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 May 2013, 19:08, closed)

have you ever boasted online about drink driving?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 2 May 2013, 19:10, closed)

I think I might have once talked about riding off a small cliff on a scooter while mangled off my face.
I'm everything I hate.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 May 2013, 19:14, closed)