sheffield cab
Booked a cab because I had to go to the local tax office for a meeting with Mr I.L. Revenue. I was dressed up in my bestest suit, to look reliable and organised.

The driver turned up on time, and started chatting away.

As we turned out of my road, there was a traffic warden giving a parking ticket to an illegally parked car.

"I hate them fuckers. I ended up in court because of them." he said.

"Why?" I asked "Where had you parked?"

"No, I kicked the shit out of one"

"What had he done to you"

"It was a she..."


I started to feel uneasy now - thought I'd best be polite, if he's the sort of fellow who kicks shit out of parking wardens.

Then he picked up his mobile, and decided he had to ring home (this was before this was banned, not that it would have bothered this bloke). He didn't know how to work the speed dial, so had to dial the number manually, while driving, and while going through a red light.

Eventually he got through and someone picked up:

"Hello, who are you? What are you doing in my house?"

He proceeded to argue with them for several minutes about what they were doing in his house - he claimed it should be empty (so fuck knows why he was ringing it in the first place) and wanted to know my this person was answering his phone - refusing to accept he had dialled the wrong number.

He spent the rest of the journey on the phone, dialling his wife's mobile, to ask what their home phone number was.

We pulled up at the destination, I thanked god I was still in one piece, he looked at the mileometer (no meters in these cabs)

"That'll be £4 then mate" he said.

I started fumbling in my pockets for change.

"Do you work in there?" he said, pointing at the tax office.

"No, just visiting" I said, worried he hated tax inspectors as much as he hated traffic wardens.

"Right, it'll be £5 then"

I didn't argue - I was happy to escape. Needless to say I haven't used that company again...
(cheesepump, Fri 28 May 2004, 14:20, Reply)