8 years working in an operating theatre
I've seen most things being cut out/off/replaced.

one of the strangest was an ovarian cyst that was approximately 6 stone and about 30 inches across.froma 70 year old woman with a total weight of about 8 stone who had been bedbound for a year due to the weight of the thing.

the operation was going so well. carefully excising teh tissue aroud it with out bursting it etc, until just as tey are bringing it out of the abdominal cavity *POP*

imagine a waterfall of oily brown liquid that had the consistency or lamp oil and smelled like 6 week old tramp piss,cascading out of a corspe in operating stirrups. (she wasnt dead, just looked it)

now imagine being the surgeon who is trying to desperatly not vomit into the cavity as all this brown gank flows down his legs....

we sucked about 14 pints of fluid off the floor that day. not bad for a cyst.

then there is the time we pulled a dermoid cyst complete with teeth hair and what looked worryingly like an eyeball in it. i swear that fucker moved as we put it in formaline....

we had a cyclist who got sucked under the back wheel of a speeding scania (big fuck off truck) and had complete dermal degloving from just above his nipples to just below his knees. (bizzarely enough. no other injuries to speak off. just had all his skin ripped off)

ive caught everthing from fingertips to legs during amputations. in fact there isnt a part of a body you can remove that i havent assisted taking off some poor fucker. breast reductions. amputations. trauma surgery. and on one memorable occasion a bicycle spanner out of a whores asshole.

i have an awesome prosthetic bone that we took out of a patient because it went septic. it looks like party of the T1000 skeleton from terminator and cost a staggering 28 thousand pounds to make.



it was in there for about 3 weeks. the wound went minging and so we had to remove it. far too nice to throw away so i scrubbed it down and stuck it in some glutaraldehyde to sterilise it. used to use it as a tv ariel. 3 kilos of pure hospital grade titanium gives a great pickup....

yep, 8 years in the operationg theatres at UCLH london will give you an interesting perspective on life.

and very fast relfexes when it comes to avoiding sprays....
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Fri 9 Jun 2006, 6:07, Reply)