Dropped in it
Have to say, I've never dropped my phone in shit, but it has dropped me in it.
I avoided the whole phone disease for a while, until me wife handed me one of her old phones and told me to get a SIM card in it, because she was sick of people calling her to ask where I was. So I do this, and drop the thing in my coat pocket where I completely forgot about it since hardly anyone had my number. Now at the time, I was no longer riding horses, but I'd still drop in once in a while to see the horses and people around the place. So one evening a few days later I call in, help with the evening feed for the trotters, then wander down the paddocks to see some of the horses I used to ride. One of the horse I'd known for years lay down while I was there, and I sat down and leaned back against her flank, patting her as it got dark. Pressed up to a warm, friendly horse in the dark, I must have dropped off to sleep.
Beeep-di-di-di-di-di-di!
I just had time to think, "What the fuck?!" when the horse thought the same, and leapt up to her hooves! Now bear in mind, horses are big and strong, so since I was still leaning against her side, I get flipped arse over teakettle and launched at some speed. I was skimming along upside down, with my nose about 6 inches off the ground, I could have been seriously hurt!
If I hadn't been stopped by something soft.
Beeep-di-di-di-di-di-di!
In the space of about 3 seconds, I've gone from being happily asleep, to being face down in a pile of horse shit. At least my mouth was shut, but my eyes are burning. Still, I fumble about in my pocket, feeling about pushing buttons on the fucking thing, until one of the buttons stops the infernal noise.
"What!"
"You're going to miss dinner", says my wife, "I bet you're glad I called you."
(ShowPony, Sat 1 Aug 2009, 12:47, Reply)