Ring ring
Remember back in the day when mobile phone technology was going through a regressive stage and the proverbial trend was to make them as small as possible? Well sometime around then I had a girlfriend and we ended up fumbling around in the bedroom after a night on the tiles. Being a bit tipsy and feeling rather fruity she grabbed my phone off the bedside table, shoved it up her moist quim (i'm always making women moist I am) and shouted, 'Call me!'.

'Err...with what?' I replied somewhat taken aback. 'Your phone is in the car. Do you want me to get it?'.

'Never fucking mind!'

I could smell her cunt on phone for ages after that. It made phone sex that much more authentic.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 19:49, Reply)