I used to have a pet snail
A giant African land snail, no less, the largest snail in the world. I had him for about 8 years, then when I went travelling around the world I left him with my sister to look after - she had around 20 snails of her own at this point.

When I got back I visited my sister and popped out into the garden for a fag after the long drive. There, nestling amidst the rockery, was my snail's empty shell - he'd died while I was away and she was building up to telling me :(
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 14:57, 2 replies)

I'm saying nowt.
Escargots gratinés déglacés au vin blanc
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 18:21, closed)

He died of a broken heart, pining for you.
But look at it this way....at least you could have used his shell as an ashtray.

It's what he would have wanted.
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 21:46, closed)