Weever.
Fist day of the holiday in Cornwall, sunny skies, beckoning sea, and two small excited children. We all run hand in hand into the waves where I promptly stand on a Weever fish. I knew what had happened, and I was faced with the choice of MTFU or terrify two toddlers who would likely never go in the water for the rest of the holiday. MTFU then. It wasn't too bad... at first. But after a couple of minutes it was fucking agony. I made my excuses and left so that a nice lifeguard could stick my foot in a bucket of boiling water (as a cure for the sting - or so he said, could be some weird thing they do to grockles for fun).
(Ott3r, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 18:05, 5 replies)

I got one of those cunts on my 21st birthday, on the beach in Bournemouth, about half a minute after I'd entered the sea. It initially felt like I'd stepped on a broken bottle, but rapidly got worse.

Pricks.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 19:26, closed)

are you sure you didn't step on a mock turtle

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 22:59, closed)

I see what you did there.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 5 Aug 2013, 23:06, closed)

Your typo of the first word gives the opening sentence a hideous twist.

( Pig Bodine., Mon 5 Aug 2013, 23:56, closed)

It would be hideous
especially if you were giving it a twist
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 6 Aug 2013, 13:00, closed)