My mum is an irritating old sod
who constantly whines to mutual friends that none of her kids want to talk to her anymore.
One event though, sticks in my mind. Some years ago when I was about fourteen, I had a small porn stash. It was just a few carefully selected and clipped pictures, not a bad collection for what you can dig up in a small country town, where everyone knows everyone. With my mum being the suspicious, intrusive person that she is, I knew that it wouldn't be long before they were found in my room.
I should also make mention at this point, that my mother also hand made most of our school clothing. This in itself was rather embarassing, not because they were poorly made, but because they were made several sizes too large and then pulled in with elastic, creating a very unique look, not something you want as a teenager trying to fit in.
Anyway, I was in the process of relocating my miniscule porn stash to somewhere less frequented by my mum. I did this discretely by laying the pictures flat under my t-shirt and attempted to slip past my mother who was between my room and the back door, working on another hellish sewing project.
As I slide past, she grabs my shirt, shorts and underwear in one hand, restraining me, and muttered something about having to measure me for some article of clothing. As she did so my tiny little stash slid down further, halting in the front of my undies, more or less resting on the top of my genitals.
She alsmost missed it, until she lifted my shirt to run the tape measure around my waist and then squinting to read it, notices foreign material in her son's underwear. After removal and a brief perusal, she then said something, in a rather know-it-all fashion, about me putting it "THERE" so "IT" would get "BIGGER". No explanation, was changing her mind.
It probably wouldn't have pissed me off so much if she hadn't told all her fucking friends about it.
(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 13:21, Reply)