Too much information
The early nineties. Our household was the relaxed type where the dogs were allowed up on the beds. We had a beautiful big boy of a dog and as he'd never had his bits done (male solidarity - Dad wouldn't allow it) he was prone to getting a bit aroused and if you ever made the mistake of bending down to pick something up then he'd jump you from behind and hump away. My parents of course found this hilarious and took photographic documentation. Yeah, thanks for that. None of this quite compared to what happened one day to my poor mum. She was relaxing on her bed, reading a book, when the dog got a bit excited for some reason and started humping away...but on this occasion he was clearly more excited than ever before and err 'shot his load', with a bit of it hitting mother dearest in the face.
(Chazbaps, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 16:26, 5 replies)

That's what she told you, anyway.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 17:18, closed)

Ha!
Unfortunately I was there too so witnessed the incident.
(Chazbaps, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 17:43, closed)

So...
Your story is you were in bed, with your mum, and the dog got overexcited and spaffed on her face while he was humping? You haven't said which of you he was humping, and whether you followed his load with your own.

Not everyday someone admits to engaging in bukkake with their dog all over their mum. And your dad had "solidarity" with the dog, did he?
(Hairs, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 0:19, closed)

You are SpankyHanky
AICMFP
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 18:13, closed)

I wouldn't be surprised if the *true* retelling of events didn't end up in Nancy Fridays' "My Secret Garden", or one of it's sequels. If not, then there's a surprisingly similarity to some of the material in those books....
(caescarna Hell's Roomba, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:17, closed)