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This is a question My Collection

Do you have display cabinets full of stuff? With it all neatly labelled, cross-referenced and entered into a database. Have you been to a convention? Do other collectors look up to you in awe?

I thought I was above this one. I'm not that autistically geeky that I have a Collection with a capital C. But no, I remembered I'm hoarding away every version of "Inside Macintosh" ever published.

What do you collect? And why? I mean, what makes you do it?

(, Thu 11 Jan 2007, 16:52)
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No pron ... promise
I collect stuffed animals. I've got a squirrel, a marmoset, a ferret and a black rat here in my desk draw at work. But it's not only rodents. I also have a collection of fish, including a herring and two turbots ... oh fuck this ... Here's an extract from my other collection of explicit children's books (Squirrel Nutkins' Deep Throat Fantasy, by Beatrix Potter)):

Squirrel Nutkin was looking for some acorns, but the hard hoar frost was too tough for his little paws to break. He was in danger of dying if he couldn't eat soon. Then he had a thought: why not become a sex worker?

So he brushed his tail and licked his fur into a presentable state, then he stood by the large oak at the centre of the forest and tried to look alluring. In no time, a ferret walked by and said, "How much for hand relief?"

"Ten acorns," said Nutkin.
"Ten? That's expensive. How about if I just do it myself and you watch. I'll give you five."
"Er, OK," said the squirrel. And he watched the rat tug and shuffle frantically until a geyser of rodent jizz arced into the air and settled across Squirrel Nutkins' face. Should he charge extra for that?
"Will you sniff my bum?" asked the ferret.
"For another five."

And the ferret bent over so that the squirrel could have a whiff. Then a bizarre evolutionary quirk took place. The pheromones in the ferret's arse sent the squirrel into a rage of passion, causing him to mount the furry rear in a salacious bout of inter-species action.

In no time, they were both sticky with the excretions of their new-found love. A few weeks later, a race of hideous tree-climbing ferrets was spawned.

[Beatrix Potter was briefly imprisoned after writing this story.]
(, Tue 16 Jan 2007, 12:23, Reply)

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