At primary school, we didn't do nativity plays at Christmas
Which was nice, instead we did things like Joseph and his Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. As something of an actor back in the day, these allowed me an outlet to escape sense of bored frustration I felt during actual lessons and the adulation of an audience (admittedly comprised largely of people's mums) went some way towards making up for being a complete outsider amongst my peer group (something I remain, for better or worse, today. Not that I don't have friends, good friends, I'm just... not quite like anyone else), although it does mean there are some highly embarrassing videos lurking about that whatever unfortunate I'll eventually marry will watch and laugh at.

Fortunately not caught on film was the night I played my absolute tour-de-force of a role as Willy Wonka (with painted on goatee I now, some nine years later, sport in real life) with a pair of fetching yellow pants peeking cheerily through my carelessly unshut flies, which rather ruined any gravitas I might have had at eleven. Or the time when, aged nine, I managed to fall of the stage when I was strutting about pretending to be Mr Bumble. As I find is often the way with old memories, I don't actually remember the incident first hand, I've just constructed a mental scene from what I was told later, in the third person. As such, I like to think my fall was cushioned by the pillow that was supposed to make me look fat but actually just made me look like I had a pillow down my top.
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Fri 27 Mar 2009, 0:00, Reply)