Not so much a play, but...
When I was in Primary 1 (so 5 years old), we had a kind of Christmas party that all the parents came along to and I can't remember exactly what went on, except that we did a version of the 12 days of Christmas, with 12 of us doing a day each, and we all did the partridge in a pear tree bit. For some reason I was gifted the hardest day - day 5.

It was all fine, until the 11 pipers piping, because when Simon T (who I think may have been expelled for paying other boys at school 2p to show him their willies) had done his line, he immediately turned to his left and shouted "COME ON THEN" at whoever was doing 10 lords a leaping. By the time it got to 5 gold rings, I was kind of having a giggling fit, so I laughed my way through "fiii-hiiive, goo-ho-ho-ho-hold rings".

I found this lack of professionalism highly embarrassing, and as a result I started to cry. Sadly, there were still the 12 drummers drumming to be announced, and as such I followed up my 5 laughing rings with a collection of noises indicating the anguish of a child way out of his artistic depth.

The headteacher had the cheek to move from the performance to the next item with "the many sounds of primary one there, and so...", and I've always remembered this for some reason too. Perhaps it's because my brother has reminded me of it every Christmas for the last 25 years or so.

Poor me from 1982.
(CeeDas is going back to lurking where it's safe, Fri 27 Mar 2009, 17:37, 1 reply)

More of this please
Fucking funny, if you ask me.

Paragraph four, especially.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Mar 2009, 17:39, closed)