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This is a question Near Death Experiences II

Freddie Woo says: I was once caught right in the middle of in an early morning high-speed 30-car pile-up on the M3, but emerged from the chaos in the only car not to have suffered a dent. My trousers told a different story, and learned that you *do* empty your bowels as Death's icy grip reaches out for you. Tell us about your audition for the Final Destination films.

Suggested by Just a Vagabond

(, Thu 15 May 2014, 12:55)
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Junior Longjohn
Dunno how close to death this would've been, more like round the corner from Death, on nodding terms kinda thing:

One of my earliest memories is of being on a family Jollyday to some greasy spanish campsite. A day out to the local zoo proved a bit more harrowing than the usual 'why does that grubby polar bear look so sad mummy?' emotional trauma, although the true horror of what could've been only really sunk in years later.

In the reptile house, there was a small tiled enclosure, sunk into the ground and partioned off by a sturdy metal fence, which, critically, had a 3-4 inch gap at the bottom. This enclosure contained what appeared to be wooden crocodiles; whether they were all wooden or only some were, or they were all real but very lazy I will never know. All I do know is at the time, I thought they weren't real. That is, until one reared up and attempted to munch my toddler toes off, which were sticking through the gap at the bottom of the fence. A quick step back and no harm was done, I remember being largely unfazed by the near miss, probably due to shock, whilst parental what-the-fucks bounced off the tiles around me.

I often wonder what life would've been like with a metallic robot foot, perhaps with retractable wheels, pulsating LEDs like Kit's face from Knightrider and a small recess in which to store interesting pebbles/acorns. But that's another matter.
(, Mon 19 May 2014, 11:12, 1 reply)
this story horrified me
apart from the poor kids, imagine waking up to this - literally everyone's worst nightmare.

(, Mon 19 May 2014, 14:39, closed)

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