NeighboursI used to live next door to a pair of elderly naturists, only finding out about their hobby when they bade me a cheerful, saggy 'Hello' while I was 25 feet up a ladder repairing the chimney. Luckily, a bush broke my fall, but the memory of a fat, naked man in an ill-fitting wig will live with me forever.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:41)
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Freedom!I've already replied to Snark's post on 'tails' of woe about our neighbours, but anyhoo, they are two 50 plus, bitter and twisted old queens. They were friendly enough when we first moved in, but their oddities soon emerged like a turd from bears arse.
Talking to them over the fence one day (it's hard to avoid them, they scutter out like rats whenever we venture outside to enjoy the dwindling sunshine), the topic soon got onto their spare room and its special designation.
It turns out it's a sex dungeon (I've never witnessed this for myself before you rumour-mongerers start). They have dildos so big you might mistake them for draft excluders and their 'safe' word is freedom...
All of this information was ventured without any prompting and they were more than happy to tell us about this. Now, this would be slightly off-putting if they were a good-looking straight couple. But the fact that they are both well over 6ft with Bella Emburg-sized guts and terrible personal hygiene just adds to the horror.
My girlfriend swears she heard them grunting a few weeks back...
They also look at me like a lion eyeing up a crippled gazelle. I'm almost scared to be left alone in the house.
(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 11:21, 2 replies)
They soundterrifying.
You'll just have to pray they don't come knocking one day in search of a "Little Bummer Boy"...
(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 11:27, closed)
pah rup a pum pum(, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 13:37, closed)
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