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This is a question Neighbours

I used to live next door to a pair of elderly naturists, only finding out about their hobby when they bade me a cheerful, saggy 'Hello' while I was 25 feet up a ladder repairing the chimney. Luckily, a bush broke my fall, but the memory of a fat, naked man in an ill-fitting wig will live with me forever.

(, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:41)
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The chavs
When me and Mrs. Bad_Dogg bought our house a family occupied one side and the other side was empty. The eldest daughter of this family was 17. She had a mouth fouler than festival toilets and shriller than a smoke alarm - we'll call her Jade.

One day I come home and Jade's swearing up a storm at her Mother. Mother is downstairs, she's upstairs in the bathroom (their bathroom is the other side of the wall to our landing, I'm in the spare room just off the landing). I pretty much phased out her high-pitched yelling and then I hear her Mother say "but how do you know he's gonna stand by you?"... She's up the duff thinks me, and I pay more attention to the arguement.

Fastforward 6 months and she's about 7 months pregnant. The bad news is that her chavvy bloke has moved in and the rest of the family have moved out, having bought a house elsewhere letting Jade and her bloke rent their house while it's on the market.
It was about now that the arguements started. She'd be all "you f*cking c*nt" this and "you f*cking c*nt" that, he'd say much the same but call her a "f*cking stupid bitch" or "stupid f*cking slag".
She was the main problem here. He'd often try and walk away from the arguement and she'd chase him down the street, still at full volume, swearing to the max - and often in her pajamas. Also she'd always try and get him to hit her, which he never did.

Fastforward another 3 months, the baby is born and named somthing chavvy like "Kyle" and is about 6 weeks old... and then the mother of all arguements errupts. It starts off with the usual but goes on longer. She keeps saying "f*cking hit me then you f*cking c*nt", he hits everything else in the house, doors, wardrobes, and keeps asking her to get out of his way, trying to leave. Can just hear the baby crying in the backround - this is the first arguement since baby chav was born. One of the neighbours calls her parents, lots of curtains are twitching in the street.
The end result was Jade had a broken arm (probably from trying to stop him leaving) and her parents threw them out - trying to get Jade to move in with them. Jade being a proper chav had none of it and went to an emergency shelter so as to get fast tracked into a council house, and he went back to live with his parents. Good riddance!

And they had dogs, lots of f*cking chavvy dogs! I like dogs but these were nasty f*ckers that often got loose.

Yes. Yes. Yes I am bitter
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 12:51, Reply)

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