NeighboursI used to live next door to a pair of elderly naturists, only finding out about their hobby when they bade me a cheerful, saggy 'Hello' while I was 25 feet up a ladder repairing the chimney. Luckily, a bush broke my fall, but the memory of a fat, naked man in an ill-fitting wig will live with me forever.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:41)
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Thankfully, I know the woman...Last July, we got a house next door to my nan. Don't remember applying for it, but there you go... I knew all the neighbours and the area, because I've been round here almost all of my life. My daughters are the 5th generation of my family to live in this street.
Anyhoo.
Just after we moved in, I was having a bath - playing submarines, etc. - and could hear some weird, scrapey noise coming from outside. It was about half 11 at night, BTW.
Then, "Innie? INNIE? IIIIINNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Strange, that. Then I could hear it coming from the front, accompanied by a rather urgent banging of the door.
Out of the bath I jump and head downstairs. Go to the front door - nothing. Decide to make a cuppa and look out of the window to find the next door neighbour (let's call her Pamela) in our yard.
"Innie! Open the door!" "Erm, no... The cats'll escape. And I'm just wearing a towel." "No, right, what it is, right, is that I brought some bleach home from work (the local pool), and I was just cleaning my yard, right, and the bleach fell off my wall. So I had to get my chair, right, and climb over and this is my chair! And my Bleach! Can I come in?"
At this point, she's waving the chair and the industrial strength chlorine around, so I politely declined the offer of company.
The missus was in my nan's the next day and was regaled with the story of how "I was in the toilet last night, about half 11. I could hear something outside, so I looked out of the window. Why was Pamela in your yard with no pants on?"
Length - Probably longer than mine.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 20:25, 2 replies)
unless...... I am completely missing the stick - that made no sense whatsoever!
(, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 2:37, closed)
Yeah...You're probably right. It was better in my head.
The point was supposed to be, she was trying to get into my house in the middle of the night naked from the waist down.
Oh well...
(, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 7:23, closed)
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