The Police
At the beginning of this year I was going to see 'The Police' perform in Manchester. I've alway's been a big fan, and as a classical music buff too, I'm really into the lute stuff that Sting has been doing.

I used to work backstage at our local theatre, and I knew a few contacts, so I made a couple of calls and got in touch with the assistant stage manager for the gig to see if he could get me backstage to meet the band after the show. I didn't expect to hear anything, but a week before the gig, an envelope arrived - with a backstage pass in it!

I was chuffed to frigging bits! I went to the gig, and decided to slip backstage to see if I could spot anyone before the show. I showed my pass and was allowed straight in - to almost bump straight into the front man himself! I couldn't help but notice that he was looking a bit more frail than I remembered him.

"Wow, hello Mr. Sting," I said, "It's great to meet you. I must say, you've lost some weight."

"Fuck off, " said Sting, "I've got a gig to do, you twat."

Although he was downright rude to me, I was still grateful to my pal who'd got the pass for me, that was 'thin arsey Sting' someone's done for me.



Gosh, is that the time?

*goes
(Crevice 's contents puked and crawled back in again on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 19:11, 4 replies)

*spang*
As an aside (and this is a general rant, not directed at anyone in particular), Sting's album of Dowland Lute Songs really is one of the biggest piles of shite ever committed to CD in the name of "classical music". He can't sing them, and whilst the lutenist is obviously very competent, the sodding producers fucked around with the sounds so much that it sounds rubbish.

Just get a CD of Julian Bream playing Dowland instead. Much better.

/rant over, sorry!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:22, closed)

Actually I agree
I do love classical music, but Sting has butchered these Dowland songs, crucified the pieces and then bombed the crosses.
(Crevice 's contents puked and crawled back in again on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:59, closed)

i actually wouldnt have
got the pun, had it not bee for the ' you put around it.

i thought it was quite beleivable, but hey - im just a gullible twat :P ....so ive been told
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 14:03, closed)

Crap pun, I know
I thought it was a bit tenuous myself - maybe not even that - more like sevenuous.

Still, I gotta start somewhere. Long way to go to catch up to Pooflake though :)
(Crevice 's contents puked and crawled back in again on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 16:42, closed)