Thanks Dad
My parents were in love.
Then they weren't, but I was almost about to pop into the world, so they stuck together for a few more weeks before he vanished after taking me to the Registry office to give me my name.
Dad thought it was funny, and probably something to annoy my mum with my real christian name.
Not an ambiguous name, Vivien I could live with, Lesley or Kim...
Needless to say I got used to my mum using my middle name.
And then I went to school, and they had registration WHERE YOUR NAME WAS CALLED OUT !!
No sooner had the kids at infants got used to it (and learnt to use it at their own risk) than there was juniors... then seniors...
I learnt to control my temper, sometimes, and solved problems more with wit than fists.

Work, I managed somehow to avoid ever providing official proof of my name.

Romance, I made the mistake of telling one of my first girlfriends who after drying her pants told me it was her sisters name.

Roll forward to my 21st birthday party, friends took me into Manchester and we ended up at a club.
There he was.
I recognised him from pictures my mum had kept for me, trimming herself off them in an attempt to get distance between them.
I'd already got a couple of drinks in me, so I went over and asked if he was paofpao2. Getting an affirmative answer, I introduced myself and threw a punch.
He went over, but shot straight back up with what I thought was a broken glass but turned out to be a knife, and sliced at my face but luckily missed and caught my ear.
We both got caught up by the bouncers and slung into a back alley where we carried on until we were both so knackered that as my last punch dropped him I fell on top and found the knife just by my hand.
I lifted it up, expecting him to ask for mercy but all I got was laughter.
"Your mums a bitch, you know that don't you?"
"She's my mum."
"And if you gave her chance she'd wipe your arse for you, wouldn't she?"
Well, okay, my mums a bit stifling, she'd wanted to come on my bloody night out with my mates for goodness sake. And I can be certain of an ironed pair of underpants whenever I want them.
"So, I knew I wasn't going to stick around to help you, so I did the best I could. And lets face it, if it had been down to your mum you'd never have fought like that, would you?"

I dropped the knife.
He was right, it was his trip to the registry office that had made me the man I was.
We hugged, got let back in and drank the night away.

But, at the end of the day, if I ever have a son, I'm going to call him Bob, or George, or Harry.... anything but Sue.

Length: 5-10 in Folsom.
(paof2 Nude might not be rude, but rude could be nude..., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 19:58, 4 replies)

Saw that coming from the 5th line
Nicely done
( The Coast Of Yemen, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 19:59, closed)

Heehee
I like that, I like it a lot.

Nicely done, but it did take me until the names to figure it out.
(Meya, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 20:19, closed)

Excellent!
I knew something sounded familiar. Have clicks.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:56, closed)

my name is sue! how do you do?!
now you gonna die!

i love that song!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 0:46, closed)