Underage boozers and the delights of a shit nightclub.
They were the days.

I think we were fifteen years old and we had an amazing discovery, as one night we discovered we could get served in the local pub, usually by talking in an overtly-deep voice and trying to grow a moustache on the spot. Yeeees! Fucking hell, BEEEER!
We chipped our money together and felt like real men for the first time in our lives. We did this for the next year (or when we had pocket money left over).

But... that was just the first stage of a tough initiation test. Next stop the Plaza nightclub with it's cheesy pop and dance sets and thuggish inhabitants. It was only across the road from the boozer, but it presented a further obstacle.

Bouncers.

Our deep voiced tactics did not work on these hardy fellows, so it took a little bit of ingenuity to get past the security, namely being refused entrance, shouts of 'i'm 25 next week mate' and other shit attempts to breach the threshold to chavvy paradise.

Shit... So it left only one option. Go around the corner and smoke two cigarettes and then swap shirts. Then casually stroll around the corner and hope the security had changed.

This sometimes worked. W000T!. Into the Plaza we went. Then it came to our very first attempts to woo the ladies on the dance floor with our really naff dancing.
I have to admit, despite me being a skinny, spotty, under age twerp of a kid, i sometimes got lucky with drunken eighteen year old ladies (who would occasionally fondled my underage balls)but more usually the women i pulled were about 30-4o years of age , some of them definately old enough to be my mum. I remember vowing to myself that i would never kiss a woman older than me ever again after some foul hag took advantage of me one night (i think i'd had about three beers) and gave me a sore throat with her large, probing over-ripe tongue..... Yuuuurg.

The Plaza was also the first place i ever got punched on a night out (leaving the loo), was also the first time i ever got chucked out by a bouncer and i also lost my virginity in the alleyway behind it with a girl who i have never met since (all in the same night). It was after a rather bonny lass had seen me get punched in the mouth by some skinhead, she came over and looked after me... took me to a quiet corner and started snogging my face off... Next thing i knew, i was in the space between two set of firedoors and she had her hands down my pants (like the classy girl she was), without even seeing them, the bouncers shoved us through the fire escape into the alleyway outside and slammed shut the doors.

Her next line will stay with me forever.

'You have ten minutes to do what you want'

Admittedly it was very difficult, as you may imagine, my very first time (trying not to remove my trousers, instead choosing to poke my cock through my fly and somehow guide it into her)... It was quite painful as my cock kept chaffing on my zipper and i thought it was quite a bad experience. But it could well have been her first time too, as she was terrible. I think we just stopped in the end.

She then left and got a taxi home, leaving me to swagger round the corner to find one of my mates outside being a bit sick.
We then walked home, my balls aching, my cock stinging, but i really did feel like a REAL man.

No apologies for length, as this was a momentous occasion in my life.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 17:56, 2 replies)

And
that was only last night?
( mister.f is now married, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 21:57, closed)

haha
yeah..
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Sat 11 Apr 2009, 11:19, closed)