How do they do it?
I was in the Opal Lounge in Edinburgh, familiar to knaves and toffs. The event was ostensibly a celebration, but I'd rather honour any given occasion by rubbing my flaccid penis on a chili than go to the Opal Lounge again (and frequently do).

In any case, I wasn't up for getting steaming that night (because I was poor, not because I'm not an alcoholic or any sad excuse like that), so I had a glass of water. Next, a woman who I can only surmise was celebrating her fiftieth birthday by having a drink for every year of life came and pointed at my glass, took it off my hands before I even had time to be confused, took a swig of it, shot me a disgusted look upon finding that it wasn't mind-altering to any degree, and shimmied off drunkenly.

Moments, literally moments later, after sharing a "what the fuck? was she hitting on me?" look with a friend, I turned around and sighted her furiously pulling a gentleman who looked younger than I did, me being nineteen at this time. It really was quite a savage tongue based assault on the gent's tonsils, and I suspect it was the quickest seduction I've ever been a witness to, and I've seen the line, "So, I hear you like sex" be deployed successfully.

It seems there just ain't no substitute for experience. Apologies for lack of entertainment value. I've never been much of a storyteller. Or much of anything really, come to think of it. It just mystified me.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 3:40, 1 reply)

George Street
Oh yes, the 'Gropal Lounge' on a sordid par with the 'Candy Bar' down the street.

Grotty little bars. Avoid.

I only went for the two-for-one Stellas.
(p0zitr0n - phunarmically charged particle, detected at, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 10:15, closed)