How to get into clubs for free and skip the queue
I used to do this all the time before clubbing rendered me a confused vegetable.

1. Walk to the front of the queue and up the the bouncer;
2. Say 'you just let me out to get some more money'
3. Bouncer says 'no I didn't'
4. Say 'yes you did!'
5. Bouncer says 'oh you're right I did. I forgot to stamp your hand! There you go'.

Queue looks on in wonder and awe.

I also remember drunkenly offering people drugs confectionary. "smack biscuits!" "crack muffins!" and one man whispered "mate... did you say you had some crack muffins?"

This is the best I can do. Sorry for bothering you.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 8:47, Reply)