Christmas night drinkies
Many years ago, my then-girlfriend (hi Mand, if you're reading) and I went to a friend of hers for the traditional Christmas night drinks and release of anger and annoyance at having to deal with family in such close proximity and having to be nice to them all day.

The theme for the night was daiquiris, and a fair bit of domestic bubbly wine. Many daiquiris were consumed, and we were all getting very merry. Which was appropriate, to have a merry Xmas.

Bear in mind we had eaten a traditional Christmas meal that day: Turkey, potatoes, peas, etc.

Then the rum ran out. So we substituted the bubbly instead. Which wasn't too bad, with the strawberries, they just became bastardised champagne cocktails.

Then it started to go very wrong. The strawberries ran out. Given how pickled we were, we reasoned that the next best thing to strawberries in the kitchen was strawberry jam. So we made the drinks with that. And champagne.

Shortly after consuming a few of those, the ex locked herself in the bathroom, and sat in the shower/bath, wailing for her best friend, and refusing to let anyone else in to see her. Then the vomiting began. Somehow, miraculously, she sat in the bath and vomited between her spread legs, and didn't get a single drop on herself. The rest of the bath however wasn't so lucky. She ended up pushing undigested peas into the plughole and rinsing them down.

The person whose place it was found peas with their shampoo bottle 3 days later, where it had somehow splashed up and behind it.
(David CopAFeel Used to be The_Elcat - Spouting crap since 1970., Sat 26 Mar 2011, 12:14, Reply)