Night out gone wrong.
Was supposed to go like this:

Have a few drinks at friends house, go out for more drinks, return back to friends house and stay on his couch.

What actually happened...

Got trollied before I even left my mates house. Ended up in a club. Lost everyone in the club. Got pissed. * BLANK *

Now replace the blank with fragmented flashbacks of waking up in the club, slouched against some seats. I was woken up by a girl drawing on my face with a make-up pen. In my confused and drunken state, I then grabbed her shoe and threw it. The shoe then hit a bouncer.

The bouncer politely removed me from the club and deposited me outside. I had no coat, no money and felt the first waves of nausea, it was also freezing. I was rescued by a school friend whom I hadn't seen in ten years. She told me I could wear her 'top' (a very tight, small, ladies fishnet top thing) which I stretched and ripped to fit over my tall frame. She then bundled me in a cab and paid for it, dropping me off at my mum's house.

As if that wasn't good enough, she gave me a peck on the cheek and waited 'til I had walked through my gate into the garden.

The next bit of memory reveals that instead of going to the comfort of my bed at my mum's house, I instead walked a mile to my friend's house and began banging on his front door (at roughly 4am), since he didn't answer, I decided to climb the drainpipe and bang on his window on the first floor. The drain pipe snapped, sending me to take a direct and somewhat agonising blow to my coccyx and leaving me winded in his front garden.

A few minutes later the police arrived, to find me semi-conscious, with make up smeared across my face, wearing a girl's top in a confused and drunken state, asking them if they could 'let me in, as my mate said i could sleep on his sofa'. Thankfully they didn't arrest me, they just took me back to my home.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 1:28, Reply)