It started with a missed train...
March 2001, Deftones at the Docklands arena. Lovely day out in London, fantastic gig in the evening. It only started going wrong when we tried to get home... Our little group (of 7) first has to negotiate the other 10,000 or so people trying to get on the Docklands Light Railway to get out of there. Knowing we were on a tight schedule to get the last train we bundled our way through, successfully gettting a train, then transferring to the Jubilee line to fuck off up to Waterloo...

We were running out of time; we sprinted up the escalators at Waterloo underground, just in time to... miss our train home by 2 minutes. Fucksticks doesn't even come close. So, the only other train heading even remotely in the direction we need to go is at 1am, going to Eastleigh (closer to home than London but still 30 miles out West in the wrong direction). Fuck it, we'll get that. "Excuse me, Mr Train Guard, but will we be able to stay in the station at Eastleigh until there's another train?" "Of course, son." Liar. Bastard. We're chucked out of Eastleigh station upon arrival. Double fucksticks!

Then (our one and only bit of luck for the journey), lo and behold outside the station is an MPV taxi. It has a passenger limit of 6 but the driver takes pity on us, breaks the law and takes us back to our home town. Result! Minus a fuckstick. But it doesn't end there...

Reaching my house with one mate and my brother in tow, I discover that my father has forgotten we'd be back late (admittedly it's now 4am and we thought it'd a little bit earlier than that) and has put the door on the latch; I can't get in. Double fucksticks again! So I start ringing the doorbell and the house phone. And then a police car turns up. Triple fucksticks. "No, officer, I'm not trying to break in, this is my house. I live here. No, really." Thankfully they believe me and eventually beanojam senior wakes up and lets us in. Minus a couple of fucksticks for that.

And then my mate D snores on my bedroom floor all night. Noisy bastard. Still, it does you good to get out and about once in a while.
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Mon 28 Mar 2011, 22:06, Reply)