Tomato Ceiling
Sorry for the pulp fiction type timeline...

Was on a night out with my mates from college back in 200?, got to about 12 and I left the others to head of with the missus....probably hoping for some rumpy and/or pumpy.

Their night did not end with me leaving, but the morning after begun with a phonecall at about 8am. A crying girl is telling me there's been a break in at the flat. I realise its one of the lads' girlfriend and tell them i'll be round to assist (what i could do was beyond me, i just went for the show).

The house looked like someone had shook it like a snow globe. The sitting room was a bombsite, furnitre overturned, bin bags emptied all over and even tomato sauce had been fired up the walls and all over the ceiling. The bedrooms were just as bad, someone had pissed on a dresser, pushed a matress up to block a window, one room had a MASSIVE double bed that was moved across the room and it was fucking seriously heavy (that alone mustve been very difficult) and things were just all over the place. The kitchen floor was a foot deep in trash, the lads had been keeping their bin bags near the back stairs cos the back door wouldnt unlock and theyd been tipped out.

In all it was a fucking sight.

Apparently they'd come home from a house party to find this, the door was kicked in (but the deadlock wasnt on) and money had been stolen.

Now I did find it strange that the TV, PS2 and cool sound system, laptops and HiFi's were not taken but the £30 or so on the mantlepiece was gone.

Took me almost 5 years to find out what really happened. They'd came home for some booze at around 3/4am, but the mate who had the keys was at the house party (waiting for booze). So they kicked the door open. Upon realising this will look bad and they'd have to pay for the damage, they made it look like a break in....

Why the fuck they went to such unreal lengths was and still is beyond my ken, but the tomato sauce up the walls was just about the cuntish thing ive ever heard of.

The poor landlady must've lost a bomb on that......
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:24, 4 replies)

nice story
but you lose points for having sympathy for a landlord
(mersault, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 21:51, closed)

she was crying :-/

(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 10:10, closed)

<<<<distant sound of the world's smallest violin playing very quietly
Only crying cos she saw that month's rent going up in flames with clean up fees. If she was a landlord in the true sense she would have got twice the money back when she inevitably retained their deposit.
(mersault, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:38, closed)

evidentally you've had beef with a landlord.....

(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 14:09, closed)