As a young paperboy...
...at the tender age of 13, I was enthralled by the joys of ogling the page 3 models in The Sun, a newspaper I delivered a fair few of on my route. My route involved cycling around a number of country roads, with a couple of spots having houses a good mile inbetween.

Needless to say, one Saturday morning at approx. 6:30am, I had a hand shandy with said jazz page balanced across my handlebars. I'm very glad none of the fancy country gentlemen types I was delivering their Times to saw me having a 10mph speed wank.

Length? Well, I was only 13, and it was cold outside...
(Brighton RAWK at the tone, the time will be:, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 10:47, 4 replies)

The Sunday Spurt was jizztastic
The customer had to put in a request to have his copy laminated before I got a hold of it.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 28 Jan 2011, 11:57, closed)

So ... you had a wank ...
While riding a bike?!

If that's true, I will happily buy you TWO pints.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:05, closed)

Don't forget the bit about balancing the paper at the same time.

( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 13:23, closed)

yes. yes i did :)

Combination of riding no handed, and riding slowly with one hand on the centre steering column, holding the paper and steering at the same time, with my other hand furiously flogging some dolphin.
As stated, I'm fecking glad no one saw me on that one
(Brighton RAWK at the tone, the time will be:, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 9:15, closed)