Not having sex
Our pal Freddie Woo says: Climbing into the back seat of the car, she sat on a fortnight-old bag of food shopping I had completely forgotten about. The stench of a bag of bean sprouts popping open is a real passion-killer, I can tell you for nothing. Tell us about the shag you didn't have because you blew it.
(
Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 22 May 2014, 14:01)
I was all set to make sexy times with a gorgeous irish gal I met on holiday
I had been staying with my
mate and his mother, who
lives abroad, and was heavy petting in the lounge area as his mother was out and he was taking a siesta. He awoke to catch me with her breast in my mouth and my hand down her front parts and immediately ejected
me. So, I led this girl up to the roof terrace where we continued, I was getting very excited at the thought of finally entering her, and, trying to be all manly sort of picked her up and tackled her to the floor. We began kissing and sort of rolling around a bit passionately on the tiles in the hot sun, when suddenly it hit us. The stench was alarming, I had managed to land us right on a manky drain, It must have contained sewage because
it fucking stank, and seemed to be magnified by the heat. Anyway, to make a short story unbearably long, we moved to the other side of the terrace and carried on, but she wouldn't
let me put it in her so I had to settle for a handjob and some sticky fingers.
(
eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 23 May 2014, 13:48,
2 replies)
I like what you did there
(
Glovington, Fri 23 May 2014, 14:24,
closed)
Bravo
(
bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Fri 23 May 2014, 23:32,
closed)