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This is a question Not having sex

Our pal Freddie Woo says: Climbing into the back seat of the car, she sat on a fortnight-old bag of food shopping I had completely forgotten about. The stench of a bag of bean sprouts popping open is a real passion-killer, I can tell you for nothing. Tell us about the shag you didn't have because you blew it.

(, Thu 22 May 2014, 14:01)
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Look George! This cannot continue
I've just had a telephone call my my Nana, she was very distressed. Apparently she caught the bus into town to go and buy a spare copy of the Radio Times (for best), when she dropped her purse. As she bent down to pick it up some lothario mounted her with the intention of getting all up inside her granny poon.

This mystery man took out a book of some description from his TK Max carrier bag and splayed it open on her back as he rubbed himself against her. Mumbling away whilst carrying out the task in hand something about "step one: take off underpants".
"Oh blast and subjugation" he muttered as he took a step back and unbuttoned his dungarees and carefully threaded his arms through 'big boys dress themselves don't they George!' His mummy had encouragingly advised him just the other day.

As he set about removing his undergarments (Spider-man patterned, I'm led to believe) Granny Brady made her escape.

The would-be swordsman cursed away to himself before shouting at my fleeing Gran that she was a "fucking dyke". As she glanced back he was stood dolefully on the street, cock out, stroking and hugging the book while whispering "one day". A lonely tear made it's way down his cheek.

Pack it in mate, that's my Nana.
(, Sat 24 May 2014, 18:33, 2 replies)
This is an example of why replies should be able to win.
(, Sat 24 May 2014, 21:10, closed)
"Blast and subjugation!"
George!, you rotter.
(, Sun 25 May 2014, 10:03, closed)

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